Who Does This Happen To?

Oh, it’s my turn!

Dear Cara,

I would like to share with you, Jennifer’s Guide to Things Grown Women Should Not Wear for the Holidays.

1. Jingle Bells

2. Anything that jingles

3. Antlers

4. Santa Hats

5. Flashing Christmas light earrings

6. Holiday Suspenders

7. Large swooping plaid taffeta skirts

8. Christmas bows as accessories

9. Christmas Sweaters

10. That goes double for Christmas Sweaters with attached bells, bows, and lights.

The very limited exceptions to these guidelines are as follows:
Grown women may wear the aforementioned only if they work in a daycare.
However, only one item from said list may be donned at a time.
Do keep in mind that you are shaping the young minds of girls who will one day become women. You wouldn't want to confuse.
This exception does not apply to Christmas Sweaters. They are never to be worn.
Furthermore, chose wisely when wearing jingle bells. You may think they are cute. But they are annoying to everyone else within ear shot.

Merry Christmas!
Jennifer

# posted by Jennifer Coomer @ 12/14/2006 10:02:00 AM